Let's celebrate!

When was the last time you celebrated an achievement?

What do you do when you pass an exam, successfully accomplish a project, complete planning a team strategy, get awarded a grant or scholarship for your work or research, publish a book, write an article, facilitate an amazing training day, effectively network at an event leading to some great professional contacts and potential collaborations, deliver a powerful conference presentation, finish a running challenge, assist somebody to reach their goals?

There are the bigger milestones like completing your studies, getting a promotion or setting up a new business but what also matters is to celebrate your ‘smaller’ victories. They all add up and it is usually because of all these smaller steps that you achieve something bigger. It is only by looking back that you start seeing the connections – how getting somewhere was not a result of one big decision but an outcome of 10-15 (often more!) smaller decisions, steps and experiences including a few setbacks along the way.

Equally, it’s important to celebrate moments when you got out of your comfort zone, when you ‘dared’ to do something unusual, when you pushed yourself to stand up in a conference room full of people and asked the key speaker a question, when you gave a talk in front of a larger audience...  or when you did something people around you said won’t work. Things work because you make them work. As it was nicely said by Henry Ford: ‘If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right.’ The first step is to start with a decision and follow up with commitment and action.

What happens while you celebrate is that you build your confidence because you remind yourself actively about the great things you achieved. You engage your mind and reflect on what went well and why. While you do this, you are ready to use the learning for going forwards and actively engage it again. It’s easy to recycle thoughts about failures and unsuccessful events but the sooner you can process these by asking yourself what/how you will do things better next time and letting go of the rest the faster you move forwards. This will leave you also more space for celebrating your achievements!

As an inspiring coach Rich Litvin says confidence comes as a result of what we do. It’s an outcome. It also means that you can actively work on it and empower yourself. It’s a skill that can be developed like any other - by practice.

How are you going to celebrate the next great thing you accomplish today/this week/this month?

Share it with me and others around you. There is nothing better than sharing stories about your successes as you never know when your stories inspire somebody else to step up and commit to something bigger.

What do you want to create this year?

The first month of 2019 is slowly coming to its end. The start of the year is a good time for reflection and making plans. Making resolutions often doesn’t work as we tend to say what we don’t want to do, what we want to stop or do less of. How about changing the perspective and starting with a different intention and thinking instead about what we want to do?  

We are all creative beings and sometimes it’s worth taking some time out and exploring what we can create. When I was at primary school I was told by a teacher that I can’t sing and for me that ‘locked’ the possibility of singing for years. It was only about three years ago that I met Director of the London City Voices choir Richard Swan whose approach is ‘everybody can sing’. He has put together an amazing community of about 400 people who sing and ever since I became part of the choir it brought an enormous joy to my days. Interestingly, it brought a lot of inspiration to my own business and I think that’s what we sometimes forget – that all is connected, and we can learn a useful lesson in one area of our life and apply it to a different one.

When we create we build something that hasn’t existed before in that exact form or shape – be it physical or abstract. We start with a blank page full of opportunities which is exciting but can often be scary as there can be too much to choose from. When we think of something it plants a seed and we then allow it to grow. As Robin Sharma’s quote goes ‘Everything is created twice, first in the mind and then in reality’.

So instead of asking what would you like to achieve I am asking what would you like to create? Make a decision what it is you want to explore and then act upon it. Once you decide to go for something opportunities open up that will give you ideas and options to pursue things further. As Martin Luther King Jr. said: ‘Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.’ We are often waiting until we see the whole path to make the first step and so years pass by before we decide to give it a go. Make the first step and trust yourself. The beauty of this is that you can always change.

When we create something, we become artists in our own way and our own space. We put our skills and abilities to practice, we allow ourselves to explore. In the end, creating something is an adventure. It could be that you want to create a business, more clients, set something up, establish a reading club, start something from scratch, deliver a workshop, write a book or poem, take up photography, start drawing or painting, create a new career, learn indoor climbing, join a band. With all these activities, we need to start with an intention to do them and then follow up with creating space for them. This means making time. Whenever we say that we don’t have time to do something we won’t do it; but when we shift perspective and decide to make time things happen!

Creativity itself means that you are up for an adventure – an exploration. When you create something, you are led by curiosity, you are coming up with solutions, you are tweaking existing things, you design your own steps and make them your own. Inspiration is everywhere.

Are you ready to create something new? If yes and you need some support with getting started I invite you to get in touch with me and I will offer you a complimentary coaching session to get you started with designing your steps and creating a map for you!

Bonsai

I have a bonsai at home that I got years ago as a present from former work colleagues. For a long time, I left it unpruned and it got slightly wild to say the least, so its branches went all over the place. You almost wouldn’t think it’s a bonsai! It was time for me to do some work on it allowing it to regain its shape.

The point of pruning and trimming is that bonsai trees keep their shape as they grow. The trees need it and metaphorically, it’s similar with us too. When we let things overrun, overgrow, dedicate our energy and focus to too many things, we lose focus. As a result, our energy gets dispersed all around. Pruning is also about being ready to let go of the branches that still have leaves and are flourishing but not leading the tree to its right shape. Pruning helps the tree to gather energy in its key branches and focus more inwards.

Sometimes we need to pause, and it is in that stillness that we can find answers for moving forwards. When we rush around and days pass by so that we are unable to say what we did three days ago and everything blurs into one it’s time to slow down. It’s time to remind ourselves about our priorities, the direction of our travel but also why we do what we do. Once we do that we are ready to move on with more confidence and clarity achieving the goals we want. Sometimes we all need this ‘trimming’ – we need to cut the number of goals, priorities, responsibilities, ideas, options so that the dispersed focus can be regained and redirected again to a place that helps us to move forwards in the right direction.

Many people say that they don’t have time do to the things they want as they are busy. What does it really mean being busy? When we devote our time to something we love and are passionate about we never say that we are busy even though it takes almost all our time. Therefore, symbolically, don’t let your branches overgrow but rather look inwards and get clear on what it is that you really want to focus on now and devote your time to; get rid of stuff that is not helping you and practice letting go. Once you let go it will create space for something new to arrive that will be more aligned with your chosen direction of travel.

As for my bonsai tree, a week after pruning it got new green buds ready to grow maintaining its shape but also ready for the winter condensing its energy and staying rooted. Sometimes, we can’t do all the pruning and trimming ourselves and need some assistance; and that’s when a coach can help. Growing and looking after bonsai trees is an art in its own way and so is living.

What do you think you need to do less of and what do you need to stop completely?

What is important for you to continue with?

Dare to...

Last weekend I saw a movie called Dare to be Wild. It’s a story about Mary Reynolds an Irish garden designer at the very beginning of her career and her vision of winning the gold medal at The Chelsea Flower Show for her garden design bringing wild nature into people’s gardens. For a start, she was not considered experienced and professional enough to even apply for a competition like that and mainly, she didn’t have the required £250,000 sponsorship money necessary to build her garden design at the flower show and take part in the competition. Many around said that this was a difficult and frankly impossible task; there were many barriers along the way which would have stopped so many people. If you are not interested in gardening, Chelsea Flower Show is for garden designers like Olympic games for athletes.

Anyway, Mary filled in the application form, then she was shortlisted, eventually she found a donor and got help from a botanist and environmental enthusiasts, she built the garden she dreamt about and won the gold medal at the age of 28 as the youngest garden designer ever. What made a difference is that she came from her goal and designed all steps towards it and not the other way around. Her will to make things happen was stronger than anything else she encountered, and she didn’t take ‘no’ as an answer.

This is a true story of an inspiring woman who totally leaned in to the vision. At the start of the application process, she put a note on her fridge saying ‘Thank you for my gold medal in garden design at The Chelsea Flower Show’. She believed that if you believe that something has already happened it will. She had a goal, a clear vision and determination to get there no matter what. The universe answered and created opportunities for her to achieve what she wanted.

What would you like to do if there would be no obstacles and no financial pressure? Once you have your picture clear – lean into it. Sometimes we don’t have to see the whole path ahead of us. At times we don’t even see beyond the next step. But that’s fine! Make the first step and a bridge will unfold, signs will appear, people will cross your path who will help to make things happen. Be bold and do it.

What will you dare to do? What would the message on YOUR fridge say?

90 minutes

I have recently put into practice the concept of ‘90 minutes’ block work. When I used to be a student I often worked for long hours without any breaks and then later having a job I often did the same. There were many days when I felt worn out and drained. Sure, I achieved most of the goals I set but often it was not easy to focus, and I was not very efficient using my time. In addition, the tiredness was always present. Does it mean that we always need to feel exhausted at the end of the day because it justifies that we worked hard? Does it come like a by-product of hard work? I don’t think so.

Recently, I adopted a different working pattern and have changed how I work. I have started to work in 90-minute blocks with some short breaks in between. On average, I aim for at least four of those blocks per day and these hours are highly effective. I am achieving results and primarily, I don’t feel tired at all at the end of the day but energised. I first read about the concept of 90 minutes in the book Build Your Business in 90 minutes a Day by Nigel Botterill and Martin Gladdish. This book is not just about setting up your business but adopting different habits and renegotiating the relationship you have with time.

What these 90-minute blocks helped me with is having concrete goals set for each of them and clear deadlines by when I want to have the work finished. I stick with the deadlines because as one of the sayings goes ‘done is better than perfect’. I am more focused moving from one task to another without spending a day on something that I could have achieved more effectively with a different pattern and structure. This is me – it works for me and that’s why I will keep it up. If you are looking for a different study/work structure in respect to time, try it as it might work for you. If not, keep looking for something that suits you and helps you to achieve what you want.

Of course, I have ‘off’ days when things don’t go according to plan but what matters here is allowing for these to happen too and not beating yourself up. However, what is equally important (if not more!) is how quickly you bounce back and re-create your structure. Keep working and moving forwards.

As Botterill and Gladdish note in their book:

Every deliberate step you take, however tiny,

towards your biggest, brightest, boldest goals

gives you the right to call yourself successful.

Commit first and then remain consistent, so you create good habits allowing you to keep up the good work you do. From time to time pause and reflect to see if any further design work or tweaks are needed.

The question is: Do your daily habits work for you and are they bringing you the results you want? If yes, great! If not, what can you change?

Make time for what matters to you.

Go for it!

Over the weekend I watched a movie called Edie. It’s about an 83-old lady who realises that she hasn’t lived the life she really wanted. After some reflection and change in her life circumstances, she decides to do the one thing that she wanted years ago and has never done – to climb Mt Suilven in Scotland. The story that unfolds through the movie is powerful. Fundamentally, it is a journey about what’s possible; age doesn’t matter at all.

In life we usually regret what we haven’t done. It’s not what we did but the complete opposite. It is the experience that we didn’t have, the feeling that we missed, the courage that we didn’t take to do something, the job that we didn’t apply for, the path that we decided not to walk… because it appeared too difficult, there was not enough time, we didn’t have people around us to support us and approve it, because there were tonnes of other excuses why it didn’t happen. We can’t do anything about the past, but we can always do something now! Just because you didn’t do something years ago it doesn’t mean you can’t have that experience anymore. You simply haven’t done it yet.  

Opportunities are everywhere around us. Once we decide to go for something – once we commit – suddenly things start happening to help us on those journeys, we meet people, read about things and stumble across articles that inspire us in the right moment to move forwards. What matters though is to make that ‘yet’ happen to make sure that when you are 83 years old you have climbed all the mountains you wanted (whatever that means for you) and experienced most of what you desired.

It was Stephen Hawking who said Remember to look up at the stars and not down at your feet.

Is there anything in your life that you wanted to do and haven’t done it yet? What is the one thing that you can do today to get started?

Trust yourself; it will be worth it. Just take the first step.

Look forward

All of us have been there at some point in our lives. Something that we really wanted didn’t work: we didn’t get into the university we wanted, we didn’t pass an exam, we didn’t get the job or promotion that we wanted. And so, a thought comes. I failed…

All of us encounter some form of failure, setback or challenge during our lives. In fact, there are quite a few of these! It’s ok and they happen. It’s fine to feel temporarily sad that something didn’t work but the only way to get out of it is to move forwards.

Three years ago, I was fortunate to meet Bill Burnett, Executive Director of the Design Programme at Stanford University. Together with his colleague, Dave Evans, they wrote an inspiring book called ‘Designing Your Life’ which has had a positive impact on how I work. What they say – and I totally agree with it – is that there is no failure as such as we are designers and we constantly prototype. If something doesn’t work, we know that we need to tweak or change something and off we are working on the next best version.

If there was something that didn’t work for you recently – get the lesson from it and let go. Put into practice what you learnt and make a step forward. What really gets you out of the failure mode is to stop thinking and start doing. So, pick the next thing you can work on and give it all your energy and focus. There are so many opportunities around you – some work and some don’t. The last experience has only prepared you to be better next time and eventually to get what you really want.

Nelson Mandela once said: I never lose. I either win or learn.

If you didn’t get the job you wanted – ask for feedback; if you didn’t pass an exam – see what needs to improve or ask somebody for help with the task ahead; if you didn’t get promoted – ask what can you do better, reflect on it and then act by improving your skills and abilities (or perhaps it’s time to try something different and change jobs?).

Don’t ask WHY did this happen to me? but instead ask HOW can I learn from this? WHAT will I do differently next time? Keep your focus and move on.

What’s the next thing you are working on?